Update on My Characters

The stars of my comic strip are busy in and out of the padded panels of my insane world. The rock band the Okra Pods have announced that they are headed to Nashville next week to record their next studio album, Pod and Country.

Derik and Paulsey sat down with me this afternoon about this new project.

“This is going to be our first parody album containing country music,” reveals Derik Hamm. “We cut a demo of She’s a Sleep Walking Woman and our record company went nuts. They immediately got us in contact with a producer in Nashville by the name of Marty Moonshine O’Rourke. We are told he is one of the best producers in all of Tennessee!”

“The real problem now is that the record company expects us to cut an album in three weeks and we only have the one song written”, whispers Paulsey.

“I know!”, exclaims Derik. “The song is a great parody of She’s a Good Hearted Woman… but that is the only country song we really know. The record company has demanded a parody album of nothing but country songs. We are listening to every Country album we can find. We’re cramming everyone we can into our ears. We’ve listened to Johnny Cash’s catalog last night. Today we listened to a ton of Willie. Tonight we are going for some Merle… and tomorrow Waylon is on our list. We want the raw, hard country for our album.”

When more information becomes available about the new album, you will hear the details first here! Subscribe to this blog for all the latest on the Okra Pods and on my comic strip Just Say Cheese!… “She’s a sleepwalking woman perplexed ’bout her all-over tan…” This is going to be a HUGE hit!!!!

0048 - Happy New Year! Time for things to get serious...

Just Say Cheese had a huge run last year! In its first year on the internet, Just Say Cheese was a HUGE hit on Facebook gathering a cult following of nearly 2100 fans. The strip continues to grow as much as 15 to 20 or more fans per week!

I am now in the process of submitting my concept to the 7 major syndicates in North America. Just Say Cheese is also being entered into a HUGE contest by the Cartoonist Studio where the winning strip gets a developmental deal with Creators Syndicate. The next 6 months should be the biggest months of my life! It is "make or break" time! It is as exciting as it is scary!!!!

However this turns out, I do not plan on giving up. My main goal is to make people laugh and enjoy my warped sense of humor. I am not here to make money... just to make a living! If I never get syndicated, I will be happy to just take it slow and post a strip every week... but being paid to do it every day would be so frigging COOL!!!

Follow this blog to see the latest strips and latest news about my comic strip Just Say Cheese. Also, become a fan on Facebook at www.facebook.com/stripcheese

I apologize for neglecting this blog. I put all my efforts into the Facebook page. Now that Wordpress has improved with the tab functions, I am going to drop my other blog on Blogger and focus on Wordpress and Facebook.

Here is a quick look at the finale from the series that was started a while back.
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0046 - The Fine Print

I have been advised by my legal council to make a few disclosures concerning my comic strip, Just Say Cheese. Upon testing the strip on a focus group and studying the effects my humor had on the volunteers, a few unfortunate side effects were recorded and analyzed. The following is a list of potential harmful results.

1. Weight Gain - The study showed that in some circumstances the parietal lobe would swell and result in the retention of excess fluid within the body. The brain has to work extra hard in order to comprehend the sometimes hidden humor of this panel strip resulting in the swelling.

2. Bladder Splatter - On rare occasions this strip is actually very funny... VERY funny. The unexpected surprise has been known to release the fluid stored in the body from reading too many of the extremely bad strips which causes the parietal lobe to swell as mentioned above.

3. Blindness - Some readers have been known to gouge out their eyes rather than be forced to read another Just Say Cheese strip.

I have also been advised to alert everyone that reading of my strip should only be attempted by readers during their own allotted time. Please do not read these strips if you are at your place of employment during office hours.

Now that I have all the notices out of the way, here is the latest slice of Cheese!

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0044 - More Trouble for the Pods

Stars Derik Hamm and Dave Jones of the comic strip Just Say Cheese were on the radio again today, this time in Miami, complaining about their new record label Mow Town Records.

"It is getting so frustrating," comments Dave. "I have three awesome new parody songs written but this new record company thinks it is best to use parody songs based on songs no one has ever heard of or to songs that just plain stink. They insist we write a parody of Toto's song Africa. There is no way in heck that anyone can make that song funny."

"We've decided that if we do complete this doomed record, we will name the album "What In Pod's Name?!?" because that title fits best with the emotions we have felt during these last few weeks," explains Derik.

Below is today's strip!
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000041 - Wonder Woman in All Her Glory!

All of us comic book geeks are either excited or dismayed over Wonder Woman's new look. Yes, yes, this is a nerdy blog today. I prefer to see Wonder Woman in "all her glory". By that, I mean that my preference is to gaze at Diana in her old, PATRIOTIC costume. DC Comics has forgotten the Amazon's roots when they redesigned Wonder Woman's new costume.

My take is that the “American Flag” design of her original costume was key to her character and the loss of the patriotic look saddens me. Diana embraced her new homeland and proudly carried the red white and blue in her costume as she paid homage to her adopted homeland. It spoke loudly for who the amazon was deep in her heart. The new look just says, hey I’m hot and cool all at the same time… which isn’t bad but just does not sell me on the fact that this character is the true Wonder Women from tales of old. Maybe it's just ME who is getting old... or a sign that this awesome country of ours has a lot of people who have lost sight of the majesty and freedom that is the United States of America.

Happy Fourth of July! Here is another strip...

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000040 - Comfort Cheese

I finally feel comfortable drawing these strips! I think this Knight Owl series is looking pretty good if I do say so myself. The first three weeks are horrible by comparison. When I started this Facebook page for Just Say Cheese, I wanted to post a strip EVERY day. Problem is that with work and personal commitments, I had maybe two hours to draw, ink, scan, assemble, and color. I was rushing a four hour process... a process that I was not even starting until 10:30 every night.

Once the Knight Owl series is completed, I am going to redraw week one. Then we will move on to a new episode. I may go ahead and introduce Zana Blanks next or I may introduce Fug's pets. Both of these episodes are historically introductions and will change the direction of my strip. Zana will explore a more human side of Fug. The pets Floyd the Dragon, Willie the Mammoth and Spazz the Unicorn will add a spark of magic and zany fantasy to my strip.

Some say I have too many characters in my strip. Oh well! My strip is about the town of Okrapolis and there are just a ton of cool people living there. Plus, I know my readers are smart enough to follow the twists and turns of the long and winding road that ravels through the history of Okrapolis!

Here is another strip.
HAPPY FATHER'S DAY!!!!

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000039 - Peeled Okra

I have had a lot of fans asking about Billy's shirt. This week, Billy is wearing a concert front from his dad's 2008 album Peeled Okra. The album's only hit was the parody of Jackson Brown's "Running On Empty" called "Running All Gimpy". We will feature other concert shirts later in the series so that the Okra Pods get a little free promotion.

If you have not checked out Billy's dad's band, the Okra Pods, go to their Facebook page. All 63 album covers are posted. You can also find a lot of their lyrics to there large selection of parody songs including "Swede Mauled by a Panda", "The Wrong John", and "That Woman Knew Taekwondo".

http://www.facebook.com/okrapods

Here is today's strip!

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000038 - Gulf Coast Fish Oil

Being a Gulf Coast native here in Houston, the Gulf Coast disaster hits very close to home. I see so many other cartoonists blogging and drawing strips about the crisis. I have wrestled with the idea of using my strip for pushing my own political views as well as my feelings towards disasters like the one crippling the fishing industry in the Gulf of Mexico... but... I am afraid my point of view on things may tick someone off. As a struggling cartoonist, I need all the fans I can get.

On Facebook, I list my political view as 20/20. It just sounds funny. It doesn't have any hidden meaning. I do not want to be known as the crazy cartoonist who took a stand on this or that... or who stood up against him or her. I just want to be known as the cartoonist that was only concerned with making his readers laugh and escape the events of our world. That is why I created Okrapolis.

Okrapolis is the town where my characters live. It is a small, Southern town where everyone knows everyone... no one ever has to concern themselves with locking their doors at night... where the only drug busts that occur are when Old Man Winters has to smash open his migraine pill bottle because he can't figure out that child proof cap. Some say this is a simple town, but they are actually very wrong! This little town is the most complicated communities ever depicted in a daily comic strip series.

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000037 - History is Made!

June 1938 saw the first appearance of the man of steal, Superman. May 1939 saw the first appearance of the caper crusader, Batman. August 1962 saw the first appearance of the amazing, web slinging Spiderman. And... June 2010 now sees the first appearance of...

...the Knight Owl!!!

Every classic strip has reoccurring situations, themes and off-the-wall cameos. One of Just Say Cheese's reoccurring cameos will be by the superhero known as the Knight Owl. This week introduces the fowl cowled freedom fighter and a few of his super partners.

Come on, you know when you were a kid that you dreamed of donning a cape and kicking some super criminal's behind!!! A few people in Okrapolis are just crazy enough to slip on the spandex and fight for justice!

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000036 - What a Nice Pair!!!

We end our two week look at El Hijo Loco and Lucardo with today's strip. The two characters make for a great pairing. You have an abrasive, over-the-top wrestler who hates kids teaming up with a kid who worships and idolizes his luchador uncle. We'll see both later on down the road.

Next week we start exploring the main characters of the strip, Fug Cheese and Billy Hamm. The next month or so will focus mainly on these two guys. We'll also throw in Zana Blanks, Fug's dream girl. Zana is kind of like Superman's kryponite. Fug has such a huge crush on Zana that he cannot function when she is around. Pretty funny stuff taken right from my own horrible early dating experiences!!! I lived it so it was SO easy to write!

I have nearly a year... heck maybe more... written and ready to draw. The problem is, I have written storylines that will not make sense for a few years. I have a ten year outline of twists and turns and I write whatever pops into my brain. Sometimes the tales are after Fug and his... oh no you don't! I am not giving this epic away that easy!!! You all will just have to continue reading and watch the world's greatest comic strip unfold!!!!!!!!

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000034 - Exploding Cheese

My strip is having more success than I dreamed. After three months, not only is Just Say Cheese nearing 1,000 Facebook fans but my service provider is alerting me that I have surpassed my allotment for data transfers. I have an image entitled latest.jpg that is linked to a few websites and it is nearing its 1 GB transfer limit! Just how many people are reading my strip? This is SO cool!!!

Today we find out just WHY El Hijo Loco became a pro wrestler... or at least we learn in a ROUND about way... El Hijo Loco's size is so fun to take jabs at!

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000033 - In a Jam

Of course, wouldn't ya know it! Google adds a playable Pacman Game to their website for one weekend only and I go and jam my finger playing basketball! I am still drawing my strip but it REALLY hurts!

Regrets? Heck no! I jammed my digit playing ball with my sons. I would lose an entire limb and not regret the time I had hacking off my arm or leg with my two sons. The older they get, the shorter the time I have with them. I just noticed my arm is bleeding. I just finished playing tennis with them and never realized I sliced my arm open. Oh well.

El Hijo Loco needs to learn to chill and enjoy his moments of glory. Today's strip studies El Hijo Loco's temperament. Sometimes you just have to let the past go so you can enjoy the present.

Man, it really hurts to type today! My finger is swollen and turning black. Just nasty!

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000032 - Long Live Rock N Roll

It is so tough seeing your heroes fade away into the sunset. As soon as I heard the news of Ronnie James Dio's passing, I felt just a tad bit older... but just a tad. The guy released his first single in 1957 so Dio was pretty dang old. Still, you just never envision your rock n roll icons as having special discounts at Luby's.

I noticed Robert Plant the other day with this odd little necklace. At first I had this déjà vu fall over me. Spooked, I had to research the odd pendant that seems to be emblazoned in a past memory. Then it hit me! Plant was sporting a Life Alert apparatus. I guess even though we see these idols as rock gods, they are infact merely humans with a bit more luck and a lot more talent.

I will not swear to Dio as being the greatest vocalist of all time, but he is in my top ten. Here is my list for all to see. Feel free to tell me how wrong I am!

10. Roger Waters - The guy may not be the smoothest singer in the world, but he puts more emotions in his songs than everyone else on my list combined. No one can swing your mood better than the disputed leader of Pink Floyd.

9. John Lennon - Whoa! #9? Why is Lennon not higher on Dave's list? Well, unfortunately I just do not feel he is as great as the other vocalists on my list. As a songwriter, the dude kicks butt, but as a vocalist, he is great but he just does not fall higher than the others. Please forgive me!

8. Dee Snider - Okay, I'm an SMF. I absolutely LOVED Twisted Sister when I was in High School. Dee Snider is SO underrated. I remember seeing their Come Out and Play tour... and my ears still ring to this day!!!

7. Rob Halford - Breaking the law... breaking the law... He sure looked odd in that leather outfit, but dang that guy can sing!

6. Ronnie James Dio - When he replaced Ozzy in Black Sabbath, this man had so much pressure weighed upon him. I remember being sceptical until I heard Heaven and Hell. I bought all the Rainbow albums the following week. Dio put on one HELL of a concert too... Rest in peace sir.

5. Paul McCartney - The man has a thousand voices. No one ever seems to note this fact. I guess fans are more concentrated on the composer side of the Beatle. Checkout the latest Fireman CD and prepare to be "wow'ed"!

4. David Gilmour - Dave brings back so many memories for me. An old flame turned me on to the Floyd in high school. Gilmour's stirring vocals helped me through life's ups and downs. I just wish he would have released more solo albums.

3. George Harrison - Surprised? I have ALWAYS favored the quiet Beatle. His songwriting is simple yet so very deep. Lyrics aside, his vocals are the most unique, stirring, sometimes haunting sound to ever expel from a rock legend's heart.

2. Robert Plant - The guy is so close to being in first place after releasing the awesome Raising Sand album a few years ago. I had the honor of standing in the front row, dead center, for a show and I cannot recall a concert experience that tops this bragging right!

1. Robin Zander - Cheap Trick's frontman will always be the greatest vocalist of all time in my opinion. Listen to "Hot Love", "Mandocello", "Downed", "World's Greatest Lover", "You Let a Lot of People Down" and "Sick Man of Europe" and ignore the overplayed "Surrender", "The Flame" and "Surrender". The man is the best F'n singer who ever lived.

Here is today's strip!

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000031 - Dat's Phat

I must apologise in advance for today's strip located at the bottom of this blog entry. El Hijo Loco is attired in his workout threads and the imagery is quite disturbing. It reminds me of an Okra Pods song parody entitled...

DON'T JIGGLE MY FAT
(aka Tom Petty's "Don't Do Me Like That")

I was walking off my big ‘ol behind, when the struttin’ started to hurt my side.
Strolled to the bench near the road and sat my ass down to lighten the load.
But I couldn’t help but botch my step, cause my girl done went and helped herself.
She went and tickled my thighs, pain running down my sides.

Don’t jiggle my fat.
Don’t jiggle my fat.
That really hurts me baby.
Don’t jiggle my fat.

Don’t jiggle my fat.
Don’t jiggle my fat.
Think something’s ruptured baby,
Don’t jiggle my fat.

Beg you honey, pretty please! Baby, stop a’ ticklin’ me.
Listen now this ain’t a lie, my liver don’t feel to spry.
So you know I’m gonna lose my pep and I think you’re gonna hurt my health.
Organs gonna start to fry, shutting down inside.

Don’t jiggle my fat.
Don’t jiggle my fat.
I can’t breathe now honey.
Don’t, don’t, don’t, don’t…

Don’t jiggle my fat.
Don’t jiggle my fat.
My kidney’s bleeding baby,
Don’t jiggle my fat.

’Cause now pain creeps down my side.
I’m really thinkin’ that I’ve collapsed a lung.
I got this feeling inside, I hate to say…
I think my abs just tore.

Wait a minute…

Beg you honey, pretty please! Baby, stop a’ ticklin’ me.
Listen now this ain’t a lie, think I’m gonna die.
So you know I’m gonna lose my pep and I think you’re gonna hurt my health.
Organs gonna start to fry, blood pressure on the rise.

Don’t jiggle my fat.
Don’t jiggle my fat.
That really hurts me baby.
Don't, don't, don't, don't...

Don’t jiggle my fat.
Don’t jiggle my fat.
I’ll even give you money.
Stop jigglin’ my fat.

Aches!
Don’t jiggle my fat.
Don’t jiggle my fat.
Fading, fading, fading,
Don't, don't, don't...

No!
Don’t jiggle my fat.
Don’t jiggle my fat.
Fading, fading, fading…

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000030 - Diva Loco

Today's blog is from international wrestling superstar El Hijo Loco!

El Hijo Loco is once again smitten by a WWE Diva. Now that Mickie James has been let go by the wrestling powerhouse, El Hijo Loco has turned his affections to another SmackDown! diva... Beth Phoenix! El Hijo Loco hopes that the WWE fully realizes what they have with this golden goddess. El Hijo has met many greats... Trish Stratus, Amy Dumas, Candice Michelle, Torrie Wilson... and Beth Phoenix has something special that these ladies do not possess... El Hijo Loco's heart!

El Hijo would like to pitch a storyline for Beth's character. El Hijo Loco would like to see Beth find love with a superstar like maybe Dolph Ziggler (because El Hijo Loco knows he can take him out with one hand tied behind El Hijo Loco's back) and after a few months, have Beth's heart broken by the scum. We would see this beautiful diva express her soft side and pull everyone's sympathy to the sweet, sobbing angel. Then El Hijo Loco will sweep Beth off of her feet and we will then have a private no-holds-barred match.

El Hijo Loco can only dream for Vince has told El Hijo Loco time and time again that his restraining order against El Hijo Loco does not expire until the year 2165. El Hijo Loco never would have hit Vince with that chair if he knew the action would have thwarted El Hijo Loco from meeting his one true love, Beth Phoenix. Sorry my dear angel. Maybe if you one day go to TNA our destiny will be fullfilled.

El Hijo Loco can be found in the panels of the comic strip Just Say Cheese.
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000029 - Cartooning Secrets Revealed!

Everyone has been asking me how I come up with all these insane ideas for my strips, parody songs and toy concepts. I really hate giving away my secrets but if it helps others, I guess I can reveal my process to the world. I warn you, this may not work for everyone. If you have a heart condition, you may want to check with your physician first.

The first trick is to live with as little sleep as possible. I try and get no more than four hours a night. This keeps your brain in la la land all day long. In this state, your mind trips into a daydream state. In this near full-dream state ideas will flow like a raging river! At times, it is all I can do just to write everything down.

Now with this condition, I have to supplement my body with nutrients. I fill up on a large french vanilla cappuccino from McDonald's first thing in the morning. This keeps me from falling asleep on the way to work. On the drive home from work I blast Cheap Trick as loud as I can to keep me awake. Their first self titled album and their current albums Rockford and The Latest are the best Cd's for blowing out your eardrums with.

The last thing that I really feed on is positive input from my readers. I have received such a great response on Facebook over just the last two weeks that all I can think of is my comic strip. My fan count grew with nearly three hundred new users in just two weeks!

That's how I create my strip. Now that the secret is out I guess we'll see a ton of other new comic strips on the internet. Good luck to you all!

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