Fug Goes Viral

Fug loves tinkering around in cyber space.  One night while watching reruns of Star Trek, Fug watched a commercial for a dating service, 1 800 HotGals, and decided he could create his very own dating service for the town of Okrapolis.

Click to enlarge the strips.

Thanks again for all the support.  To see the next strip, go to the cartoonist studio and vote.  Vote up to 4 times a day!!!  Registration is easy.

Regards,
David Jones
Creator of Just Say Cheese

New Game Show Idea: A Moment To Own It!

I just came up with a brilliant idea for a TV Game Show called "A Moment To Own It".  The concept will sweep the nation!!!  I need to get an agent quick for this one.

The show revolves around not-so-safe household objects.  You have 60 seconds to do wild, dangerous tricks.  If you succeed your trick, you move up a level.  If you survive... I mean to say if you win... all 10 levels, you win a million dollars!

At level one, the trick would be pretty simple.  You would have to successfully stack 5 vials of nitroglycerin, or maybe you would have to jump rope while standing on the top of a tall stool.

It would be so cool!  I do not think anything like this has ever been done before!  Now I just need a semi-recognizable actor for a host.  Maybe someone from the Food Channel or the Travel Channel.

Oh...

Fug Cheese just informed me that there is already a show called Minute To Win It that is a sissy version of my idea.  Dang it.  I am always just a day or two too late.......

Oh well, I have more ideas.  I'll post them soon.

Update on My Characters

The stars of my comic strip are busy in and out of the padded panels of my insane world. The rock band the Okra Pods have announced that they are headed to Nashville next week to record their next studio album, Pod and Country.

Derik and Paulsey sat down with me this afternoon about this new project.

“This is going to be our first parody album containing country music,” reveals Derik Hamm. “We cut a demo of She’s a Sleep Walking Woman and our record company went nuts. They immediately got us in contact with a producer in Nashville by the name of Marty Moonshine O’Rourke. We are told he is one of the best producers in all of Tennessee!”

“The real problem now is that the record company expects us to cut an album in three weeks and we only have the one song written”, whispers Paulsey.

“I know!”, exclaims Derik. “The song is a great parody of She’s a Good Hearted Woman… but that is the only country song we really know. The record company has demanded a parody album of nothing but country songs. We are listening to every Country album we can find. We’re cramming everyone we can into our ears. We’ve listened to Johnny Cash’s catalog last night. Today we listened to a ton of Willie. Tonight we are going for some Merle… and tomorrow Waylon is on our list. We want the raw, hard country for our album.”

When more information becomes available about the new album, you will hear the details first here! Subscribe to this blog for all the latest on the Okra Pods and on my comic strip Just Say Cheese!… “She’s a sleepwalking woman perplexed ’bout her all-over tan…” This is going to be a HUGE hit!!!!

Time to Get Famous!

This is it. Nine months worth of work going out to the syndicates! At least now I know that I tried to follow my dream. If this is as far as I get to being syndicated, so be it. I will continue to just publish online if I never hear back from anyone.

I feel like my comic strip Just Say Cheese has so much to offer over other strips. There is not a lot of depth to some of the current strips. Unfortunately, space is limited and the comic strips that are being published are very good. It has been a long time coming for a strip like mine to get published. The story packs such a punch with the two kids sharing a bond because they have both lost a parent. We watch the two forget about the real world through some crazy, twisted adventures. It starts out dark, but the audience becomes too wrapped up in the mayhem to really dwell on the past.

Who knows. Maybe I’ll be surprised pretty quickly and get picked up. A total of seven syndicates are receiving submissions. Five are pictured here. Two others were sent electronically over the internet. I am very excited about my comic strip finally making it to the syndicates… but I know the chances of ever hearing back are pretty slim! The syndicates receive THOUSANDS of strip ideas per year. I’ll be lucky if I even get looked at!!!!!

Not having tried is worse than being shunned after trying.

0044 - More Trouble for the Pods

Stars Derik Hamm and Dave Jones of the comic strip Just Say Cheese were on the radio again today, this time in Miami, complaining about their new record label Mow Town Records.

"It is getting so frustrating," comments Dave. "I have three awesome new parody songs written but this new record company thinks it is best to use parody songs based on songs no one has ever heard of or to songs that just plain stink. They insist we write a parody of Toto's song Africa. There is no way in heck that anyone can make that song funny."

"We've decided that if we do complete this doomed record, we will name the album "What In Pod's Name?!?" because that title fits best with the emotions we have felt during these last few weeks," explains Derik.

Below is today's strip!
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0043 - Mounting Tensions

Well, the rock band who star in my comic strip seem to be having issues with their new label, Mow Town Records. The Okra Pods are a parody rock band that poke fun at popular classic rock songs.

The Okra Pods released their first album under this new label last month. The new album, Drawn Together, featured a parody of Cheap Trick's "He's a Whore" twistedly entitled "Dudley Moore". The band pleaded with the label to allow them to release a parody of this not-so-recognizable song. The gamble paid off as this song has become the most popular track from the album.

This morning band members Dave Jones and Derik Hamm were on the air in Boston promoting the new album and trashing the new record label. Derik reveals that the label was so impressed with the popularity of the parody of "He's a Whore" that they have demanded ALL of the tracks for the next album be parodies of not-so-popular songs.

"The jerks have even given us a list of songs they want us to parody!," complained Dave. "I do not write like that. Songs just pop into my head. Plus we are already three-quarters of the way through the recording of a really great album. We have to shelve this for now."

"Plus the songs they want us to parody are really terrible songs," adds Derik.

The label Mow Town Records, which doubles as a lawn care business, had no comment today. Everyone was out cutting grass or trimming hedges.

Here is today's strip!
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000042 - Possibilities are Endless...

Everything is possible... Hell indeed can freeze over. David Gilmour and Roger Waters can still play nice together!!! I am a HUGE Pink Floyd fan after being introduced to the band back in high school by some hot chick who will leave as nameless so she doesn't have to admit that she stooped so low as to go out with me, the geekiest guy in high school... Women have always been a huge influence on my musical tastes for some reason.

Where am I going with this blog???

Oh yeah, so even a hot girl will date a geek... so anything is possible. With this logic I know that one of these I am going to get my comic strip syndicated. It is just a matter of time and karma.

I am now going to travel back in time for the next month and polish up the earlier strips. Enjoy the conclusion of this week's episode!!!

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000041 - Wonder Woman in All Her Glory!

All of us comic book geeks are either excited or dismayed over Wonder Woman's new look. Yes, yes, this is a nerdy blog today. I prefer to see Wonder Woman in "all her glory". By that, I mean that my preference is to gaze at Diana in her old, PATRIOTIC costume. DC Comics has forgotten the Amazon's roots when they redesigned Wonder Woman's new costume.

My take is that the “American Flag” design of her original costume was key to her character and the loss of the patriotic look saddens me. Diana embraced her new homeland and proudly carried the red white and blue in her costume as she paid homage to her adopted homeland. It spoke loudly for who the amazon was deep in her heart. The new look just says, hey I’m hot and cool all at the same time… which isn’t bad but just does not sell me on the fact that this character is the true Wonder Women from tales of old. Maybe it's just ME who is getting old... or a sign that this awesome country of ours has a lot of people who have lost sight of the majesty and freedom that is the United States of America.

Happy Fourth of July! Here is another strip...

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000038 - Gulf Coast Fish Oil

Being a Gulf Coast native here in Houston, the Gulf Coast disaster hits very close to home. I see so many other cartoonists blogging and drawing strips about the crisis. I have wrestled with the idea of using my strip for pushing my own political views as well as my feelings towards disasters like the one crippling the fishing industry in the Gulf of Mexico... but... I am afraid my point of view on things may tick someone off. As a struggling cartoonist, I need all the fans I can get.

On Facebook, I list my political view as 20/20. It just sounds funny. It doesn't have any hidden meaning. I do not want to be known as the crazy cartoonist who took a stand on this or that... or who stood up against him or her. I just want to be known as the cartoonist that was only concerned with making his readers laugh and escape the events of our world. That is why I created Okrapolis.

Okrapolis is the town where my characters live. It is a small, Southern town where everyone knows everyone... no one ever has to concern themselves with locking their doors at night... where the only drug busts that occur are when Old Man Winters has to smash open his migraine pill bottle because he can't figure out that child proof cap. Some say this is a simple town, but they are actually very wrong! This little town is the most complicated communities ever depicted in a daily comic strip series.

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June's Album of the Month - Make It Greasy

It was a cold February in a New Jersey bar when Derik Hamm accidentally hit on Joe Walsh’s girlfriend. A brawl broke out between the two resulting in Joe Walsh breaking Derik’s jaw. During the confrontation Joe Walsh had declared how much he hated Derik’s parody music, insisting that none of the Okra Pods had any talent whatsoever.

Derik worked very hard over the next few months on parody songs based on classics by the Eagles. In Derik’s mind, this would be the ultimate last laugh. The two wrote a total of 26 songs, and… after picking the best of the best… they recorded and released “Make It Greasy”.

Later in 2006, Derik ran into Joe Walsh after a concert in Dallas. It was then that Derik realized the guy in the bar was not Joe Walsh. After thinking about it, Derik remembered that he was pretty smashed and that “Rocky Mountain Way” was playing on the jukebox. Ends up that Joe Walsh actually likes the parody songs by the Okra Pods… but Joe DOES really think the guys lack any talent whatsoever. Joe actually described them as a glorified cover band with a twist.

Tracks
01. Twitchy Woman (aka Witchy Woman)
02. Wife’s Got A Migraine (aka Life in the Fastlane)
03. Ted is So White (aka One of These Nights)
04. Make It Greasy (aka Take It Easy)
05. The Wrong John (aka The Long Run)
06. Peepholes in the Ceiling (aka Peaceful Easy Feeling)
07. Hit the Lotto (aka Desperado)
08. New Shorts Turned Brown (aka New Kid in Town)
09. I Can’t Zip My Fly (aka I Can’t Tell You Why)
10. Giant Thighs (aka Lyin’ Eyes)
11. Ho Smells Like an Onion (aka Hotel California)


Twitchy Woman
Parody of "Witchy Woman" by the Eagles

People stare as Rhonda trips
Straws are barred when she sips
Eyepatched socket shades her sight.
She's a nervous seamstress with an awful plight.

Wooo hooo twitchy woman
See her eat this pie.
Woo hoo twitchy woman
She jabbed a spoon in her eye.

She has a boyfriend, his name is Mike
He wears goggles to protect his sight
She grazed his retina with the kitchen broom
As she shoved it accidentally
When she swept the room.

Woo hoo twitchy woman
See her kiss her guy.
Woo hoo twitchy woman
She jabbed her tongue in his eye.

Well Rhonda once blew her cover,
Her pants were her brother’s.
She didn’t know she had to tie the threads.
And when she tried to turn around
Her sweatpants hit the ground.
Her can rocked and twitched at the wrong time
And her face turned red.

Woo hoo twitchy woman
How did her pants come untied?
Woo hoo twitchy woman
She showed her moon to the sky!

000036 - What a Nice Pair!!!

We end our two week look at El Hijo Loco and Lucardo with today's strip. The two characters make for a great pairing. You have an abrasive, over-the-top wrestler who hates kids teaming up with a kid who worships and idolizes his luchador uncle. We'll see both later on down the road.

Next week we start exploring the main characters of the strip, Fug Cheese and Billy Hamm. The next month or so will focus mainly on these two guys. We'll also throw in Zana Blanks, Fug's dream girl. Zana is kind of like Superman's kryponite. Fug has such a huge crush on Zana that he cannot function when she is around. Pretty funny stuff taken right from my own horrible early dating experiences!!! I lived it so it was SO easy to write!

I have nearly a year... heck maybe more... written and ready to draw. The problem is, I have written storylines that will not make sense for a few years. I have a ten year outline of twists and turns and I write whatever pops into my brain. Sometimes the tales are after Fug and his... oh no you don't! I am not giving this epic away that easy!!! You all will just have to continue reading and watch the world's greatest comic strip unfold!!!!!!!!

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000035 - Wrestling With My Thoughts

Every character in my strip is an actual reflection of my own character. Each of these stars reflect a personality or passion that resides within my overactive brain. As you can tell by my strip's luchador character, El Hijo Loco... I love wrestling and food. I do not love food as much as El Hijo, but I admit that I do alright at a good buffet line.

There are some characters that are molded after good friends from my past... whether they like it or not. It just makes these characters more real to me and in return, I hope, more real to my readers.

I have so many more characters to introduce. Keep reading over the next few months for Holly Peňo, Zana Blanks, Spazz, Willie, and Floyd the dragon. Meanwhile, let's continue with our study of the wrestling legend El Hijo Loco.

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000034 - Exploding Cheese

My strip is having more success than I dreamed. After three months, not only is Just Say Cheese nearing 1,000 Facebook fans but my service provider is alerting me that I have surpassed my allotment for data transfers. I have an image entitled latest.jpg that is linked to a few websites and it is nearing its 1 GB transfer limit! Just how many people are reading my strip? This is SO cool!!!

Today we find out just WHY El Hijo Loco became a pro wrestler... or at least we learn in a ROUND about way... El Hijo Loco's size is so fun to take jabs at!

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000032 - Long Live Rock N Roll

It is so tough seeing your heroes fade away into the sunset. As soon as I heard the news of Ronnie James Dio's passing, I felt just a tad bit older... but just a tad. The guy released his first single in 1957 so Dio was pretty dang old. Still, you just never envision your rock n roll icons as having special discounts at Luby's.

I noticed Robert Plant the other day with this odd little necklace. At first I had this déjà vu fall over me. Spooked, I had to research the odd pendant that seems to be emblazoned in a past memory. Then it hit me! Plant was sporting a Life Alert apparatus. I guess even though we see these idols as rock gods, they are infact merely humans with a bit more luck and a lot more talent.

I will not swear to Dio as being the greatest vocalist of all time, but he is in my top ten. Here is my list for all to see. Feel free to tell me how wrong I am!

10. Roger Waters - The guy may not be the smoothest singer in the world, but he puts more emotions in his songs than everyone else on my list combined. No one can swing your mood better than the disputed leader of Pink Floyd.

9. John Lennon - Whoa! #9? Why is Lennon not higher on Dave's list? Well, unfortunately I just do not feel he is as great as the other vocalists on my list. As a songwriter, the dude kicks butt, but as a vocalist, he is great but he just does not fall higher than the others. Please forgive me!

8. Dee Snider - Okay, I'm an SMF. I absolutely LOVED Twisted Sister when I was in High School. Dee Snider is SO underrated. I remember seeing their Come Out and Play tour... and my ears still ring to this day!!!

7. Rob Halford - Breaking the law... breaking the law... He sure looked odd in that leather outfit, but dang that guy can sing!

6. Ronnie James Dio - When he replaced Ozzy in Black Sabbath, this man had so much pressure weighed upon him. I remember being sceptical until I heard Heaven and Hell. I bought all the Rainbow albums the following week. Dio put on one HELL of a concert too... Rest in peace sir.

5. Paul McCartney - The man has a thousand voices. No one ever seems to note this fact. I guess fans are more concentrated on the composer side of the Beatle. Checkout the latest Fireman CD and prepare to be "wow'ed"!

4. David Gilmour - Dave brings back so many memories for me. An old flame turned me on to the Floyd in high school. Gilmour's stirring vocals helped me through life's ups and downs. I just wish he would have released more solo albums.

3. George Harrison - Surprised? I have ALWAYS favored the quiet Beatle. His songwriting is simple yet so very deep. Lyrics aside, his vocals are the most unique, stirring, sometimes haunting sound to ever expel from a rock legend's heart.

2. Robert Plant - The guy is so close to being in first place after releasing the awesome Raising Sand album a few years ago. I had the honor of standing in the front row, dead center, for a show and I cannot recall a concert experience that tops this bragging right!

1. Robin Zander - Cheap Trick's frontman will always be the greatest vocalist of all time in my opinion. Listen to "Hot Love", "Mandocello", "Downed", "World's Greatest Lover", "You Let a Lot of People Down" and "Sick Man of Europe" and ignore the overplayed "Surrender", "The Flame" and "Surrender". The man is the best F'n singer who ever lived.

Here is today's strip!

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000031 - Dat's Phat

I must apologise in advance for today's strip located at the bottom of this blog entry. El Hijo Loco is attired in his workout threads and the imagery is quite disturbing. It reminds me of an Okra Pods song parody entitled...

DON'T JIGGLE MY FAT
(aka Tom Petty's "Don't Do Me Like That")

I was walking off my big ‘ol behind, when the struttin’ started to hurt my side.
Strolled to the bench near the road and sat my ass down to lighten the load.
But I couldn’t help but botch my step, cause my girl done went and helped herself.
She went and tickled my thighs, pain running down my sides.

Don’t jiggle my fat.
Don’t jiggle my fat.
That really hurts me baby.
Don’t jiggle my fat.

Don’t jiggle my fat.
Don’t jiggle my fat.
Think something’s ruptured baby,
Don’t jiggle my fat.

Beg you honey, pretty please! Baby, stop a’ ticklin’ me.
Listen now this ain’t a lie, my liver don’t feel to spry.
So you know I’m gonna lose my pep and I think you’re gonna hurt my health.
Organs gonna start to fry, shutting down inside.

Don’t jiggle my fat.
Don’t jiggle my fat.
I can’t breathe now honey.
Don’t, don’t, don’t, don’t…

Don’t jiggle my fat.
Don’t jiggle my fat.
My kidney’s bleeding baby,
Don’t jiggle my fat.

’Cause now pain creeps down my side.
I’m really thinkin’ that I’ve collapsed a lung.
I got this feeling inside, I hate to say…
I think my abs just tore.

Wait a minute…

Beg you honey, pretty please! Baby, stop a’ ticklin’ me.
Listen now this ain’t a lie, think I’m gonna die.
So you know I’m gonna lose my pep and I think you’re gonna hurt my health.
Organs gonna start to fry, blood pressure on the rise.

Don’t jiggle my fat.
Don’t jiggle my fat.
That really hurts me baby.
Don't, don't, don't, don't...

Don’t jiggle my fat.
Don’t jiggle my fat.
I’ll even give you money.
Stop jigglin’ my fat.

Aches!
Don’t jiggle my fat.
Don’t jiggle my fat.
Fading, fading, fading,
Don't, don't, don't...

No!
Don’t jiggle my fat.
Don’t jiggle my fat.
Fading, fading, fading…

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000026 - Living for Yesterday

I have heard over and over again that in order to be successful you have to live for tomorrow. People actually believe that you have to work hard today so that you can build for a better future. Well, this mind set is so horribly incorrect!

I realized the error in this ideology during my long bus ride home from Dallas. I had chaperoned my son's school band trip to Six Flags. It was an enlightening experience as I watched my son interact with his friends. I recalled for myself all the trips I made as a teenager with my friends. I would go to lock-ins every couple of months just to chill with friends... and hit on girls... I did say that I was a teenager, right?

As I was sitting quietly on the bus and watching the kids smiling, laughing, and picking on each other, I recalled how much I missed my own childhood as well as how much my childhood shaped who I am. I miss my close friends and the old, wild days of debauchery and chaos that made such great memories and made me into the man I am today.

Live for yesterday! Share your memories with your kids! Of course, edit the details so you do not get yourself into any trouble... Bottom line is to start working on memories for your loved ones. Your past is your legacy, not what you plan on becoming tomorrow... tomorrow may never come!

Okay, now for something funny...

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000025 - Earth Quakers

There are people spouting about that the world is coming to an end. Weekly earthquakes are now topped off with an erupting volcano in Europe that no one can even pronounce the name of. There are some saying that Yellowstone Park will host the next volcano to explode... and they are saying THIS is the volcano that very well could have been responsible for killing the dinosaurs!

These people are nuts... I am now, hereby, coining a phrase. These fanatics are now to be forever known as Earth Quakers.

Now for today's comic strip starring El Hijo Loco... a character who was actually created by my brother-in-law Randy Salsbury. Dang, now I probably have to pay him. I'll give him 10%... that comes out annually to a ha'penny...

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000024 - Fortune and Fame

I have been overwhelmed with all the well wishes for my comic strip in the last few weeks. Now I am actually starting to believe I can do this!

I have a lot of friends who are telling me that they hope I remember them when I am rich and famous. They obviously don't know how much a syndicated cartoonist makes! With all the newspapers tanking it, there are fewer and fewer outlets every day! Plus the going rate is about $20 a WEEK per strip per newspaper... and that income is split with the cartoonist and the syndicate. I figure if I am lucky and I do get syndicated, I'll still be working in the toy industry full time as I produce just Say Cheese for the rest of my life!... unless I can market the hell out of my characters. Oh yeah, I'll sell out in a heartbeat!!!!! Maybe my 16 years in the toy industry will finally benefit ME for a change.

I can see it now, I'll have Fug Cheese action figures, water guns, and video games. The really cool way to make money with this comic strip would be to release some of the parody albums by the Okra Pods. That could EASILY be my bread and butter... and not that cheap margarine butter substitute junk. I am talking about artery clogging dairy goo!

I measure riches very differently than most people. I would be content on just being syndicated and knowing that there are people actually reading my strip. Everyone knows that the comics are the only section anyone takes time to actually read... okay maybe I made up that fact, but I bet by average, you would find that I am correct. Just knowing that I have a captive audience with people sitting on buses, trains and airplanes who are reading my strip and giving a chuckle would make me richer than I have ever been in my life...

Nope, I take that back. My two sons have made my heart richer than I ever thought imaginable. The syndication of my comic strip would still be pretty dang cool though!

So here is today's strip. This episode concludes the fourth week of dailies!

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Daily Comic 023

Here is today's strip fresh from my studio in downtown Okrapolis! I hope you enjoy. The Descency Detectives may appear again from time to time in their futile attempts to keep my comic strip in bounds. They may be my best chance at getting syndicated.

If you are on Facebook, become a fan and you'll get notices as new strips are posted.

http://www.facebook.com/stripcheese

...and don't forget to suggest my page to ALL of your facebook friends!

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Daily Comic 022

We did it! 100 fans have been added in only FOUR DAYS!!!

THANKS FOR ALL THE ADDS!!!

Get on Facebook, become a fan, and suggest my page to ALL of your friends!!!

http://www.facebook.com/stripcheese

Today's strip is very special because, if and when I get syndicated, this strip would never make it past the editor!!! It is a little riske for your local newspaper... I'll post more of these gems as time goes by! I'll try and keep my mind out of the gutter in the future because I REALLY want to get syndicated. Now, if I come up with something funny... believe me I'll post it whether it is something that will or will not get me syndicated. I just want a laugh!

Click on the image to enlarge!