0047 - Name That Fan

I think it is time we gave the fans of "Just Say Cheese" a name!

In the past when comic strips hit their prime, their fans where hailed by nicknames tagged by the strips' syndicates or marketing groups. Well, I've got squat so I am doing this myself. I have come up with a list of names for my diehard fans.

I took two elements of my strip and expounded upon them. The elements are Cheese, Hamm and Okra. Wait, yes... I mean three elements. Cheese come from the main character's name Fug Cheese. Hamm comes from the name of Fug's friend Billy Hamm. Okra comes from the rock band the Okra Pods who move to town and starts the strip going.

Here are my suggestions...
1. Cheese Wizzers
2. Hamm Bones
3. Cheese Doodles
4. Strip Cheesers
5. Okrapolytes
6. Hamm Hocks
7. Cheese Louise

If anyone cares to vote on one, please do. If anyone has a better suggestion, please let me know.

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0046 - The Fine Print

I have been advised by my legal council to make a few disclosures concerning my comic strip, Just Say Cheese. Upon testing the strip on a focus group and studying the effects my humor had on the volunteers, a few unfortunate side effects were recorded and analyzed. The following is a list of potential harmful results.

1. Weight Gain - The study showed that in some circumstances the parietal lobe would swell and result in the retention of excess fluid within the body. The brain has to work extra hard in order to comprehend the sometimes hidden humor of this panel strip resulting in the swelling.

2. Bladder Splatter - On rare occasions this strip is actually very funny... VERY funny. The unexpected surprise has been known to release the fluid stored in the body from reading too many of the extremely bad strips which causes the parietal lobe to swell as mentioned above.

3. Blindness - Some readers have been known to gouge out their eyes rather than be forced to read another Just Say Cheese strip.

I have also been advised to alert everyone that reading of my strip should only be attempted by readers during their own allotted time. Please do not read these strips if you are at your place of employment during office hours.

Now that I have all the notices out of the way, here is the latest slice of Cheese!

Click to enlarge...

0045 - El Hijo Loco Collapses

It was rumored that El Hijo Loco injured his back at a show in Lubbock last night. It appears this injury is just a work because El Hijo needs time off for some personal issues. The eight time OWW Extremely Heavyweight Champ will be returning to his hometown of Okrapolis later in the week.

A report on the internet by someone in attendance at last night's show states that El Hijo Loco was attempting a moonsault off the top rope when the turnbuckle snapped under the weight of his girth. El Hijo Loco fell out of the ring, landing on ring announcer Sal E. Mandor and wrenching his back. Sal E. Mandor is currently in critical condition after being squished by the tragic fall.

Meanwhile, back in Okrapolis, Billy is still meeting Fug's pets.

Click the image to enlarge....

0044 - More Trouble for the Pods

Stars Derik Hamm and Dave Jones of the comic strip Just Say Cheese were on the radio again today, this time in Miami, complaining about their new record label Mow Town Records.

"It is getting so frustrating," comments Dave. "I have three awesome new parody songs written but this new record company thinks it is best to use parody songs based on songs no one has ever heard of or to songs that just plain stink. They insist we write a parody of Toto's song Africa. There is no way in heck that anyone can make that song funny."

"We've decided that if we do complete this doomed record, we will name the album "What In Pod's Name?!?" because that title fits best with the emotions we have felt during these last few weeks," explains Derik.

Below is today's strip!
Click the image to enlarge...

0043 - Mounting Tensions

Well, the rock band who star in my comic strip seem to be having issues with their new label, Mow Town Records. The Okra Pods are a parody rock band that poke fun at popular classic rock songs.

The Okra Pods released their first album under this new label last month. The new album, Drawn Together, featured a parody of Cheap Trick's "He's a Whore" twistedly entitled "Dudley Moore". The band pleaded with the label to allow them to release a parody of this not-so-recognizable song. The gamble paid off as this song has become the most popular track from the album.

This morning band members Dave Jones and Derik Hamm were on the air in Boston promoting the new album and trashing the new record label. Derik reveals that the label was so impressed with the popularity of the parody of "He's a Whore" that they have demanded ALL of the tracks for the next album be parodies of not-so-popular songs.

"The jerks have even given us a list of songs they want us to parody!," complained Dave. "I do not write like that. Songs just pop into my head. Plus we are already three-quarters of the way through the recording of a really great album. We have to shelve this for now."

"Plus the songs they want us to parody are really terrible songs," adds Derik.

The label Mow Town Records, which doubles as a lawn care business, had no comment today. Everyone was out cutting grass or trimming hedges.

Here is today's strip!
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000042 - Possibilities are Endless...

Everything is possible... Hell indeed can freeze over. David Gilmour and Roger Waters can still play nice together!!! I am a HUGE Pink Floyd fan after being introduced to the band back in high school by some hot chick who will leave as nameless so she doesn't have to admit that she stooped so low as to go out with me, the geekiest guy in high school... Women have always been a huge influence on my musical tastes for some reason.

Where am I going with this blog???

Oh yeah, so even a hot girl will date a geek... so anything is possible. With this logic I know that one of these I am going to get my comic strip syndicated. It is just a matter of time and karma.

I am now going to travel back in time for the next month and polish up the earlier strips. Enjoy the conclusion of this week's episode!!!

Click image to enlarge...

000041 - Wonder Woman in All Her Glory!

All of us comic book geeks are either excited or dismayed over Wonder Woman's new look. Yes, yes, this is a nerdy blog today. I prefer to see Wonder Woman in "all her glory". By that, I mean that my preference is to gaze at Diana in her old, PATRIOTIC costume. DC Comics has forgotten the Amazon's roots when they redesigned Wonder Woman's new costume.

My take is that the “American Flag” design of her original costume was key to her character and the loss of the patriotic look saddens me. Diana embraced her new homeland and proudly carried the red white and blue in her costume as she paid homage to her adopted homeland. It spoke loudly for who the amazon was deep in her heart. The new look just says, hey I’m hot and cool all at the same time… which isn’t bad but just does not sell me on the fact that this character is the true Wonder Women from tales of old. Maybe it's just ME who is getting old... or a sign that this awesome country of ours has a lot of people who have lost sight of the majesty and freedom that is the United States of America.

Happy Fourth of July! Here is another strip...

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000040 - Comfort Cheese

I finally feel comfortable drawing these strips! I think this Knight Owl series is looking pretty good if I do say so myself. The first three weeks are horrible by comparison. When I started this Facebook page for Just Say Cheese, I wanted to post a strip EVERY day. Problem is that with work and personal commitments, I had maybe two hours to draw, ink, scan, assemble, and color. I was rushing a four hour process... a process that I was not even starting until 10:30 every night.

Once the Knight Owl series is completed, I am going to redraw week one. Then we will move on to a new episode. I may go ahead and introduce Zana Blanks next or I may introduce Fug's pets. Both of these episodes are historically introductions and will change the direction of my strip. Zana will explore a more human side of Fug. The pets Floyd the Dragon, Willie the Mammoth and Spazz the Unicorn will add a spark of magic and zany fantasy to my strip.

Some say I have too many characters in my strip. Oh well! My strip is about the town of Okrapolis and there are just a ton of cool people living there. Plus, I know my readers are smart enough to follow the twists and turns of the long and winding road that ravels through the history of Okrapolis!

Here is another strip.
HAPPY FATHER'S DAY!!!!

Click on the image to enlarge...

000039 - Peeled Okra

I have had a lot of fans asking about Billy's shirt. This week, Billy is wearing a concert front from his dad's 2008 album Peeled Okra. The album's only hit was the parody of Jackson Brown's "Running On Empty" called "Running All Gimpy". We will feature other concert shirts later in the series so that the Okra Pods get a little free promotion.

If you have not checked out Billy's dad's band, the Okra Pods, go to their Facebook page. All 63 album covers are posted. You can also find a lot of their lyrics to there large selection of parody songs including "Swede Mauled by a Panda", "The Wrong John", and "That Woman Knew Taekwondo".

http://www.facebook.com/okrapods

Here is today's strip!

Click on the image to enlarge...

000038 - Gulf Coast Fish Oil

Being a Gulf Coast native here in Houston, the Gulf Coast disaster hits very close to home. I see so many other cartoonists blogging and drawing strips about the crisis. I have wrestled with the idea of using my strip for pushing my own political views as well as my feelings towards disasters like the one crippling the fishing industry in the Gulf of Mexico... but... I am afraid my point of view on things may tick someone off. As a struggling cartoonist, I need all the fans I can get.

On Facebook, I list my political view as 20/20. It just sounds funny. It doesn't have any hidden meaning. I do not want to be known as the crazy cartoonist who took a stand on this or that... or who stood up against him or her. I just want to be known as the cartoonist that was only concerned with making his readers laugh and escape the events of our world. That is why I created Okrapolis.

Okrapolis is the town where my characters live. It is a small, Southern town where everyone knows everyone... no one ever has to concern themselves with locking their doors at night... where the only drug busts that occur are when Old Man Winters has to smash open his migraine pill bottle because he can't figure out that child proof cap. Some say this is a simple town, but they are actually very wrong! This little town is the most complicated communities ever depicted in a daily comic strip series.

Click Image To Enlarge...

June's Album of the Month - Make It Greasy

It was a cold February in a New Jersey bar when Derik Hamm accidentally hit on Joe Walsh’s girlfriend. A brawl broke out between the two resulting in Joe Walsh breaking Derik’s jaw. During the confrontation Joe Walsh had declared how much he hated Derik’s parody music, insisting that none of the Okra Pods had any talent whatsoever.

Derik worked very hard over the next few months on parody songs based on classics by the Eagles. In Derik’s mind, this would be the ultimate last laugh. The two wrote a total of 26 songs, and… after picking the best of the best… they recorded and released “Make It Greasy”.

Later in 2006, Derik ran into Joe Walsh after a concert in Dallas. It was then that Derik realized the guy in the bar was not Joe Walsh. After thinking about it, Derik remembered that he was pretty smashed and that “Rocky Mountain Way” was playing on the jukebox. Ends up that Joe Walsh actually likes the parody songs by the Okra Pods… but Joe DOES really think the guys lack any talent whatsoever. Joe actually described them as a glorified cover band with a twist.

Tracks
01. Twitchy Woman (aka Witchy Woman)
02. Wife’s Got A Migraine (aka Life in the Fastlane)
03. Ted is So White (aka One of These Nights)
04. Make It Greasy (aka Take It Easy)
05. The Wrong John (aka The Long Run)
06. Peepholes in the Ceiling (aka Peaceful Easy Feeling)
07. Hit the Lotto (aka Desperado)
08. New Shorts Turned Brown (aka New Kid in Town)
09. I Can’t Zip My Fly (aka I Can’t Tell You Why)
10. Giant Thighs (aka Lyin’ Eyes)
11. Ho Smells Like an Onion (aka Hotel California)


Twitchy Woman
Parody of "Witchy Woman" by the Eagles

People stare as Rhonda trips
Straws are barred when she sips
Eyepatched socket shades her sight.
She's a nervous seamstress with an awful plight.

Wooo hooo twitchy woman
See her eat this pie.
Woo hoo twitchy woman
She jabbed a spoon in her eye.

She has a boyfriend, his name is Mike
He wears goggles to protect his sight
She grazed his retina with the kitchen broom
As she shoved it accidentally
When she swept the room.

Woo hoo twitchy woman
See her kiss her guy.
Woo hoo twitchy woman
She jabbed her tongue in his eye.

Well Rhonda once blew her cover,
Her pants were her brother’s.
She didn’t know she had to tie the threads.
And when she tried to turn around
Her sweatpants hit the ground.
Her can rocked and twitched at the wrong time
And her face turned red.

Woo hoo twitchy woman
How did her pants come untied?
Woo hoo twitchy woman
She showed her moon to the sky!

000037 - History is Made!

June 1938 saw the first appearance of the man of steal, Superman. May 1939 saw the first appearance of the caper crusader, Batman. August 1962 saw the first appearance of the amazing, web slinging Spiderman. And... June 2010 now sees the first appearance of...

...the Knight Owl!!!

Every classic strip has reoccurring situations, themes and off-the-wall cameos. One of Just Say Cheese's reoccurring cameos will be by the superhero known as the Knight Owl. This week introduces the fowl cowled freedom fighter and a few of his super partners.

Come on, you know when you were a kid that you dreamed of donning a cape and kicking some super criminal's behind!!! A few people in Okrapolis are just crazy enough to slip on the spandex and fight for justice!

Click Image To Enlarge...

000036 - What a Nice Pair!!!

We end our two week look at El Hijo Loco and Lucardo with today's strip. The two characters make for a great pairing. You have an abrasive, over-the-top wrestler who hates kids teaming up with a kid who worships and idolizes his luchador uncle. We'll see both later on down the road.

Next week we start exploring the main characters of the strip, Fug Cheese and Billy Hamm. The next month or so will focus mainly on these two guys. We'll also throw in Zana Blanks, Fug's dream girl. Zana is kind of like Superman's kryponite. Fug has such a huge crush on Zana that he cannot function when she is around. Pretty funny stuff taken right from my own horrible early dating experiences!!! I lived it so it was SO easy to write!

I have nearly a year... heck maybe more... written and ready to draw. The problem is, I have written storylines that will not make sense for a few years. I have a ten year outline of twists and turns and I write whatever pops into my brain. Sometimes the tales are after Fug and his... oh no you don't! I am not giving this epic away that easy!!! You all will just have to continue reading and watch the world's greatest comic strip unfold!!!!!!!!

Click Image To Enlarge...

000035 - Wrestling With My Thoughts

Every character in my strip is an actual reflection of my own character. Each of these stars reflect a personality or passion that resides within my overactive brain. As you can tell by my strip's luchador character, El Hijo Loco... I love wrestling and food. I do not love food as much as El Hijo, but I admit that I do alright at a good buffet line.

There are some characters that are molded after good friends from my past... whether they like it or not. It just makes these characters more real to me and in return, I hope, more real to my readers.

I have so many more characters to introduce. Keep reading over the next few months for Holly Peňo, Zana Blanks, Spazz, Willie, and Floyd the dragon. Meanwhile, let's continue with our study of the wrestling legend El Hijo Loco.

Click On Image To Enlarge...

000034 - Exploding Cheese

My strip is having more success than I dreamed. After three months, not only is Just Say Cheese nearing 1,000 Facebook fans but my service provider is alerting me that I have surpassed my allotment for data transfers. I have an image entitled latest.jpg that is linked to a few websites and it is nearing its 1 GB transfer limit! Just how many people are reading my strip? This is SO cool!!!

Today we find out just WHY El Hijo Loco became a pro wrestler... or at least we learn in a ROUND about way... El Hijo Loco's size is so fun to take jabs at!

Click Image To Enlarge...

000033 - In a Jam

Of course, wouldn't ya know it! Google adds a playable Pacman Game to their website for one weekend only and I go and jam my finger playing basketball! I am still drawing my strip but it REALLY hurts!

Regrets? Heck no! I jammed my digit playing ball with my sons. I would lose an entire limb and not regret the time I had hacking off my arm or leg with my two sons. The older they get, the shorter the time I have with them. I just noticed my arm is bleeding. I just finished playing tennis with them and never realized I sliced my arm open. Oh well.

El Hijo Loco needs to learn to chill and enjoy his moments of glory. Today's strip studies El Hijo Loco's temperament. Sometimes you just have to let the past go so you can enjoy the present.

Man, it really hurts to type today! My finger is swollen and turning black. Just nasty!

Click on the image below to enlarge...

000032 - Long Live Rock N Roll

It is so tough seeing your heroes fade away into the sunset. As soon as I heard the news of Ronnie James Dio's passing, I felt just a tad bit older... but just a tad. The guy released his first single in 1957 so Dio was pretty dang old. Still, you just never envision your rock n roll icons as having special discounts at Luby's.

I noticed Robert Plant the other day with this odd little necklace. At first I had this déjà vu fall over me. Spooked, I had to research the odd pendant that seems to be emblazoned in a past memory. Then it hit me! Plant was sporting a Life Alert apparatus. I guess even though we see these idols as rock gods, they are infact merely humans with a bit more luck and a lot more talent.

I will not swear to Dio as being the greatest vocalist of all time, but he is in my top ten. Here is my list for all to see. Feel free to tell me how wrong I am!

10. Roger Waters - The guy may not be the smoothest singer in the world, but he puts more emotions in his songs than everyone else on my list combined. No one can swing your mood better than the disputed leader of Pink Floyd.

9. John Lennon - Whoa! #9? Why is Lennon not higher on Dave's list? Well, unfortunately I just do not feel he is as great as the other vocalists on my list. As a songwriter, the dude kicks butt, but as a vocalist, he is great but he just does not fall higher than the others. Please forgive me!

8. Dee Snider - Okay, I'm an SMF. I absolutely LOVED Twisted Sister when I was in High School. Dee Snider is SO underrated. I remember seeing their Come Out and Play tour... and my ears still ring to this day!!!

7. Rob Halford - Breaking the law... breaking the law... He sure looked odd in that leather outfit, but dang that guy can sing!

6. Ronnie James Dio - When he replaced Ozzy in Black Sabbath, this man had so much pressure weighed upon him. I remember being sceptical until I heard Heaven and Hell. I bought all the Rainbow albums the following week. Dio put on one HELL of a concert too... Rest in peace sir.

5. Paul McCartney - The man has a thousand voices. No one ever seems to note this fact. I guess fans are more concentrated on the composer side of the Beatle. Checkout the latest Fireman CD and prepare to be "wow'ed"!

4. David Gilmour - Dave brings back so many memories for me. An old flame turned me on to the Floyd in high school. Gilmour's stirring vocals helped me through life's ups and downs. I just wish he would have released more solo albums.

3. George Harrison - Surprised? I have ALWAYS favored the quiet Beatle. His songwriting is simple yet so very deep. Lyrics aside, his vocals are the most unique, stirring, sometimes haunting sound to ever expel from a rock legend's heart.

2. Robert Plant - The guy is so close to being in first place after releasing the awesome Raising Sand album a few years ago. I had the honor of standing in the front row, dead center, for a show and I cannot recall a concert experience that tops this bragging right!

1. Robin Zander - Cheap Trick's frontman will always be the greatest vocalist of all time in my opinion. Listen to "Hot Love", "Mandocello", "Downed", "World's Greatest Lover", "You Let a Lot of People Down" and "Sick Man of Europe" and ignore the overplayed "Surrender", "The Flame" and "Surrender". The man is the best F'n singer who ever lived.

Here is today's strip!

Click image to enlarge...

000031 - Dat's Phat

I must apologise in advance for today's strip located at the bottom of this blog entry. El Hijo Loco is attired in his workout threads and the imagery is quite disturbing. It reminds me of an Okra Pods song parody entitled...

DON'T JIGGLE MY FAT
(aka Tom Petty's "Don't Do Me Like That")

I was walking off my big ‘ol behind, when the struttin’ started to hurt my side.
Strolled to the bench near the road and sat my ass down to lighten the load.
But I couldn’t help but botch my step, cause my girl done went and helped herself.
She went and tickled my thighs, pain running down my sides.

Don’t jiggle my fat.
Don’t jiggle my fat.
That really hurts me baby.
Don’t jiggle my fat.

Don’t jiggle my fat.
Don’t jiggle my fat.
Think something’s ruptured baby,
Don’t jiggle my fat.

Beg you honey, pretty please! Baby, stop a’ ticklin’ me.
Listen now this ain’t a lie, my liver don’t feel to spry.
So you know I’m gonna lose my pep and I think you’re gonna hurt my health.
Organs gonna start to fry, shutting down inside.

Don’t jiggle my fat.
Don’t jiggle my fat.
I can’t breathe now honey.
Don’t, don’t, don’t, don’t…

Don’t jiggle my fat.
Don’t jiggle my fat.
My kidney’s bleeding baby,
Don’t jiggle my fat.

’Cause now pain creeps down my side.
I’m really thinkin’ that I’ve collapsed a lung.
I got this feeling inside, I hate to say…
I think my abs just tore.

Wait a minute…

Beg you honey, pretty please! Baby, stop a’ ticklin’ me.
Listen now this ain’t a lie, think I’m gonna die.
So you know I’m gonna lose my pep and I think you’re gonna hurt my health.
Organs gonna start to fry, blood pressure on the rise.

Don’t jiggle my fat.
Don’t jiggle my fat.
That really hurts me baby.
Don't, don't, don't, don't...

Don’t jiggle my fat.
Don’t jiggle my fat.
I’ll even give you money.
Stop jigglin’ my fat.

Aches!
Don’t jiggle my fat.
Don’t jiggle my fat.
Fading, fading, fading,
Don't, don't, don't...

No!
Don’t jiggle my fat.
Don’t jiggle my fat.
Fading, fading, fading…

Click image to enlarge...

000030 - Diva Loco

Today's blog is from international wrestling superstar El Hijo Loco!

El Hijo Loco is once again smitten by a WWE Diva. Now that Mickie James has been let go by the wrestling powerhouse, El Hijo Loco has turned his affections to another SmackDown! diva... Beth Phoenix! El Hijo Loco hopes that the WWE fully realizes what they have with this golden goddess. El Hijo has met many greats... Trish Stratus, Amy Dumas, Candice Michelle, Torrie Wilson... and Beth Phoenix has something special that these ladies do not possess... El Hijo Loco's heart!

El Hijo would like to pitch a storyline for Beth's character. El Hijo Loco would like to see Beth find love with a superstar like maybe Dolph Ziggler (because El Hijo Loco knows he can take him out with one hand tied behind El Hijo Loco's back) and after a few months, have Beth's heart broken by the scum. We would see this beautiful diva express her soft side and pull everyone's sympathy to the sweet, sobbing angel. Then El Hijo Loco will sweep Beth off of her feet and we will then have a private no-holds-barred match.

El Hijo Loco can only dream for Vince has told El Hijo Loco time and time again that his restraining order against El Hijo Loco does not expire until the year 2165. El Hijo Loco never would have hit Vince with that chair if he knew the action would have thwarted El Hijo Loco from meeting his one true love, Beth Phoenix. Sorry my dear angel. Maybe if you one day go to TNA our destiny will be fullfilled.

El Hijo Loco can be found in the panels of the comic strip Just Say Cheese.
http://www.facebook.com/stripcheese
Become a fan!

Click image to enlarge...

000029 - Cartooning Secrets Revealed!

Everyone has been asking me how I come up with all these insane ideas for my strips, parody songs and toy concepts. I really hate giving away my secrets but if it helps others, I guess I can reveal my process to the world. I warn you, this may not work for everyone. If you have a heart condition, you may want to check with your physician first.

The first trick is to live with as little sleep as possible. I try and get no more than four hours a night. This keeps your brain in la la land all day long. In this state, your mind trips into a daydream state. In this near full-dream state ideas will flow like a raging river! At times, it is all I can do just to write everything down.

Now with this condition, I have to supplement my body with nutrients. I fill up on a large french vanilla cappuccino from McDonald's first thing in the morning. This keeps me from falling asleep on the way to work. On the drive home from work I blast Cheap Trick as loud as I can to keep me awake. Their first self titled album and their current albums Rockford and The Latest are the best Cd's for blowing out your eardrums with.

The last thing that I really feed on is positive input from my readers. I have received such a great response on Facebook over just the last two weeks that all I can think of is my comic strip. My fan count grew with nearly three hundred new users in just two weeks!

That's how I create my strip. Now that the secret is out I guess we'll see a ton of other new comic strips on the internet. Good luck to you all!

Become a fan on Facebook!
www.facebook.com/stripcheese

Click on the image below to enlarge...

000028 - Mother In Law

The father of one of Just Say Cheese's main characters is a member of the parody rock band the Okra Pods. Here is my favorite cut from their album "Southern Fried Okra". At a close second on my list of favorites from that album is "Fire On Michael Jackson" but the timing is off for that one. Maybe in a year or so I can post that song's lyrics. "Mother-In-Law" is a parody of the Allman Brothers' song "Ramblin' Man".

For more info on the Okra Pods, check out...
http://www.facebook.com/okrapods

Mother-In-Law
© 2009 Dave Jones and the Okra Pods

My mother-in-law looks like a man.
Looks like her face was hit by a frying pan.
And when its time to visit
I make up other plans.
My mother-in-law looks like a man.

Well her scowl has been known to up and blind ya.
When she's coming people will just up and run.
She looks old enough to pull funds from a retirement trust.
But actually she just turned Forty One!

My mother-in-law looks like a man.
In over forty countries the sight of her mug's been banned.
And when its time to visit
I make up other plans.
My mother-in-law looks like a man.

I'm looking through old photos this morning.
See a girl who looks like my hon-ey.
My wife says that's here mama when she was a young 'un.
Lord, now I know what lies ahead for me!

My mother-in-law looks like a man.
Her face looks like the surface where a lunar module might land.
And when its time to visit
I make up other plans.
My mother-in-law looks like a man.

My mother-in-law looks like a man.
Looks like her face got stuck in a ceiling fan.
And when its time to visit
I make up other plans.
My mother-in-law looks like a man.

My mother-in-law looks like a man.
Some say she looks like Uncle Sam....

Click image to enlarge...



For more comic strips, go to...
http://www.facebook.com/stripcheese

000027 - Toying Around

I've been "toying" around in the toy industry for 18 years now. It's the perfect job for someone who refuses to grow up! I tell everyone that I have to watch cartoons all day and wrestling at night because I have to keep up with juvenile trends! I cannot believe people buy that line...

In other news, Just Say Cheese is closing in on 500 fans... or likes. I hate the new term "like". Either way, my goal for 500 fans by June should be reached by tomorrow. Next goal will be 1,000 fans by September. That WILL be tough. Then the next step is syndication. That will be dang-near impossible. If I succeed, between the toy industry income and the cash flow from syndication, I should actually be making a living!

Time to check in on El Hijo Loco. The wrestling legend has made it home to his family in Mexico. He has spent all his life wrestling around the globe. Has fame and fortune smiled upon the larger than life superstar?

Click on the image to enlarge...

000026 - Living for Yesterday

I have heard over and over again that in order to be successful you have to live for tomorrow. People actually believe that you have to work hard today so that you can build for a better future. Well, this mind set is so horribly incorrect!

I realized the error in this ideology during my long bus ride home from Dallas. I had chaperoned my son's school band trip to Six Flags. It was an enlightening experience as I watched my son interact with his friends. I recalled for myself all the trips I made as a teenager with my friends. I would go to lock-ins every couple of months just to chill with friends... and hit on girls... I did say that I was a teenager, right?

As I was sitting quietly on the bus and watching the kids smiling, laughing, and picking on each other, I recalled how much I missed my own childhood as well as how much my childhood shaped who I am. I miss my close friends and the old, wild days of debauchery and chaos that made such great memories and made me into the man I am today.

Live for yesterday! Share your memories with your kids! Of course, edit the details so you do not get yourself into any trouble... Bottom line is to start working on memories for your loved ones. Your past is your legacy, not what you plan on becoming tomorrow... tomorrow may never come!

Okay, now for something funny...

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My Blog Is Clogged!

Hello everyone! 

For some reason my blogs have stopped appearing on my Facebook page.  So this is not so much a "blog" as it is a "test".  I apologize for the inconvenience... but then again, if this tests fails, no one is seeing this post...  To be honest, I am not sure if anyone reads these posts when they DO reach the Just Say Cheese Facebook Page!!!!

000025 - Earth Quakers

There are people spouting about that the world is coming to an end. Weekly earthquakes are now topped off with an erupting volcano in Europe that no one can even pronounce the name of. There are some saying that Yellowstone Park will host the next volcano to explode... and they are saying THIS is the volcano that very well could have been responsible for killing the dinosaurs!

These people are nuts... I am now, hereby, coining a phrase. These fanatics are now to be forever known as Earth Quakers.

Now for today's comic strip starring El Hijo Loco... a character who was actually created by my brother-in-law Randy Salsbury. Dang, now I probably have to pay him. I'll give him 10%... that comes out annually to a ha'penny...

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000024 - Fortune and Fame

I have been overwhelmed with all the well wishes for my comic strip in the last few weeks. Now I am actually starting to believe I can do this!

I have a lot of friends who are telling me that they hope I remember them when I am rich and famous. They obviously don't know how much a syndicated cartoonist makes! With all the newspapers tanking it, there are fewer and fewer outlets every day! Plus the going rate is about $20 a WEEK per strip per newspaper... and that income is split with the cartoonist and the syndicate. I figure if I am lucky and I do get syndicated, I'll still be working in the toy industry full time as I produce just Say Cheese for the rest of my life!... unless I can market the hell out of my characters. Oh yeah, I'll sell out in a heartbeat!!!!! Maybe my 16 years in the toy industry will finally benefit ME for a change.

I can see it now, I'll have Fug Cheese action figures, water guns, and video games. The really cool way to make money with this comic strip would be to release some of the parody albums by the Okra Pods. That could EASILY be my bread and butter... and not that cheap margarine butter substitute junk. I am talking about artery clogging dairy goo!

I measure riches very differently than most people. I would be content on just being syndicated and knowing that there are people actually reading my strip. Everyone knows that the comics are the only section anyone takes time to actually read... okay maybe I made up that fact, but I bet by average, you would find that I am correct. Just knowing that I have a captive audience with people sitting on buses, trains and airplanes who are reading my strip and giving a chuckle would make me richer than I have ever been in my life...

Nope, I take that back. My two sons have made my heart richer than I ever thought imaginable. The syndication of my comic strip would still be pretty dang cool though!

So here is today's strip. This episode concludes the fourth week of dailies!

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Daily Comic 023

Here is today's strip fresh from my studio in downtown Okrapolis! I hope you enjoy. The Descency Detectives may appear again from time to time in their futile attempts to keep my comic strip in bounds. They may be my best chance at getting syndicated.

If you are on Facebook, become a fan and you'll get notices as new strips are posted.

http://www.facebook.com/stripcheese

...and don't forget to suggest my page to ALL of your facebook friends!

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Daily Comic 022

We did it! 100 fans have been added in only FOUR DAYS!!!

THANKS FOR ALL THE ADDS!!!

Get on Facebook, become a fan, and suggest my page to ALL of your friends!!!

http://www.facebook.com/stripcheese

Today's strip is very special because, if and when I get syndicated, this strip would never make it past the editor!!! It is a little riske for your local newspaper... I'll post more of these gems as time goes by! I'll try and keep my mind out of the gutter in the future because I REALLY want to get syndicated. Now, if I come up with something funny... believe me I'll post it whether it is something that will or will not get me syndicated. I just want a laugh!

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Daily Comic 021

Just in case you are wondering about the Superheroes mentioned in today's strip, these are actual characters I have developed over the years. I have about a dozen or so heroes who make up the Global Guardians. I have written a series of strips for Just Say Cheese that star High Voltage and his Sidekick Sparky the Nuclear Boy. If I can find a way to tie in these characters into the strip, I may share these strips with you!

High Voltage is a superhero from the 1930 and 40's who was frozen in a state of suspended animation by the arch villian Dr. Axis. High Voltage's original sidekick, Adam Atom, spent the next fifty years trying to solve the mystery of his mentor's disappearance. After a series of mysterious leads, Adam finds High Voltage and revives the superhero. High Voltage is still the same age he was in 1943 and now has to deal with the loss of everything he held dear including the loss of his beloved fiance. To deal with everything, High Voltage has taken up his war on crime with his new sidekick Sparky the Nuclear Boy.

Remember, if you are on Facebook please become a fan and then suggest me to ALL of your friends. I am going to work as hard as I can until I get about four to six months worth of strips posted. Then I will shop my strip to the syndicates as I continue to post more and more strips. The more Fans I have, the better my strip will look to the syndicates.

Here is the latest strip.

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Daily Comic 020

Remember, if you like my strip, do me two favors...

1. Become a fan on facebook...
http://www.facebook.com/stripcheese

2. Suggest my page to all your Facebook friends. Here is a link to make this task SUPER easy... http://www.facebook.com/stripcheese?v=app_7146470109


I need to get at least 3,000 fans before I shop this strip around to the various syndicates!
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Daily Comic 019

Okay, I'm back after a week off. This week we take a drive downtown to Okrapolis' Main Street and visit Bill's Drug Store.

Remember, if you like my strip, do me two favors...

1. Become a fan on facebook...
http://www.facebook.com/stripcheese

2. Suggest my page to all your Facebook friends. Here is a link to make this task SUPER easy...
http://www.facebook.com/stripcheese?v=app_7146470109

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Daily Comic 018

Here is the last strip for the week!

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Daily Comic 017

...and my comic strips just keeps getting worse! I'll never get syndicated!!!

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Daily Comic 016

Okay, things are heating up now. The comic strip is now getting a bit out of hand. My brain goes into the gutter from time to time and, well, the pen is mightier than the sword. Okay that really means nothing since I am banned from playing with swords since that "incident" twelve years ago... but I digress.

Here is strip 4 of the episode "Mid-Wife Crisis".

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Daily Comic 015

Things are heating up!

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Daily Comic 014

Fug and Billy star is this week's episode entitled "Mid-Wife Crisis". The boys find themselves trapped in an elevator with even more trouble brewing...

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Daily Comic 013

Week three finds Fug and Billy stuck in an elevator! What else could possibly go wrong???

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Daily Comic 012

This strip concludes week two! We have now been introduced to the four main characters of "Just Say Cheese". The strip can now start getting crazy and explore some twisted storylines... STARING NEXT WEEK!!!

Next week, Fug and Billy will be stuck in an elevator with a pregnant woman who goes into labor. "Just Say Cheese" is breaking ground on situations you won't see in your local newspaper!!!

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Daily Comic 011

Here is a second strip for today! I fell behind yesterday but I am making up for lost time.

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Daily Comic 010

Whoa! I am a little late on this post. This will happen from time to time...

The interesting thing about this post is that this strip has three versions. The funniest one is WAY to dirty to post. I want to get syndicated one day so I went with a PG version. The third version was very safe but not very funny.

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Daily Comic 009

Here is strip #9 featuring Fug, Billy and Billy's rock star dad Derik.

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Daily Comic 008

Here is strip number 8!

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Daily Comic 007

Here is the first strip from week two. I took more time with this one. I really rushed through last week's. Each trip takes a few hours to draw and piece together. I'm getting faster though so hopefully the art will stay close to today's quality.

This week we get introduced to Billy and his dad Derik Hamm. Derik is the lead guitarist of the rock band the Okra Pods.

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Daily Comic 006

Here is strip #6 of the episode “Homecoming”…

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Daily Comic 005

Here is strip #5 of the episode “Homecoming”…

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Daily Comic 004

Here is strip #4 of the episode "Homecoming".

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Daily Comic 003

Billy moves in next door to Fug… and the adventures begin!

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Daily Comic 002

Billy moves in next door to Fug… and the adventures begin!

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Okra Pods Album of the Month

HAMMER OF THE PODS - The Okra Pods sixth album from 1988.

Weeks before production began on this notable, Nitro suffered his first nervous breakdown, leaving the band with no songs and with no leader. This album introduces us to the lineup we all know and love. Deric Zimmer performs Drums, Vocals and Kazoo. Dave Jones performs on Bass and Vocals. Derik Hamm performs on Guitar and Vocals. Paulzey Ford performs on Guitar, Keyboards, Vocals.

Frantically, Dave took control and came up with the idea to write a Led Zeppelin tribute parody. A total of thirty songs were rumored to have been written during a four week roundtable writing session. The band locked themselves into room number 69 at the Days Inn on Route 12 just outside of Okrapolis. The room was stocked with enough food, liquor, toilet paper and women to last four weeks. The doors were locked from the outside by the band’s manager of the time, Jerry Kerl, and the band began there four week writing session.

The band had a lot to prove. Nitro had been the backbone of the band writing most of the material to this point. With Nitro gone, not only did the band have to prove to themselves that the Okra Pods could continue, but they had to prove this fact to their growing number of fans and a skeptical record label. After four long weeks, the Okra Pods emerged from their motel room with a ton of songs and a recharged state of mind.

The landmark album proved that the Okra Pods were as creative as ever. Some fans argue the album would have been better if it included a parody of Stairway To Heaven. Derik remarked in a 1990 interview that they decided the song was too sacred to parody. Dave later stated in a 2007 interview that the band tried most of the day on day four and just could not create a funny song based on the rock n roll anthem.

01. Drop and Roll (aka Rock N Roll)
02. Kristi’s Mountains Rock (aka Misty Mountain Hop)
03. Grandpa’s Moles (aka Gallow’s Pole)
04. Listerine (aka Tangerine)
05. Nobody Likes A Mime (aka Nobody’s Fault But Mine)
06. Hazed and Contused (aka Dazed and Confused)
07. Procrastination Rebound (aka Communication Breakdown)
08. The Potion (aka The Ocean)
09. That Won’t Fit You Baby (aka I Can’t Quit You Baby)
10. Pap Smear (aka Kashmir)

Daily Comic 001

Billy moves in next door to fug... and the adventure begins!

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The Big House

Cold, frigid air fills my lungs this morning. I dart to the window to see if maybe a freak snowfall has blanketed the earth and grounded me to a Snow Day! Freedom from school!!! If not, I am doomed because my report on The Battle of Little Big Horn is incomplete and this could very well become Fug Cheese’s Last Stand!

My face drops as I see the wintered, brown and gray blades of the Bermuda mocking me. I am on to Plan B. It is time to google flu symptoms so I can fake out mom. She is getting really good at seeing through my ruses so I need all the help I can get from the information highway.

I look outside again, praying, as I inspect the grounds for signs of snow. I just see ice. That glacial element is not quite enough to shut down the Okrapolis Independent School District. There is ice in the huge oaks weighting down the brittle branches. There is ice on the mailbox delivering the frosty news that winter is still upon us. There is ice next door dangling from the "for sale" sign that, oh my, is mighty different today!

Someone added the word “Sold” to the top of the sign! I am getting some new neighbors!

I will miss old Mrs. Holder who lived next door in the abode Okrapolians refer to as “The Mansion”. The lonely widower baked cookies for my mother and me every Friday. I was the grandson she never had and my mom was the child she always wanted. My own grandmothers had passed away long ago so Mrs. Holder, in my eyes, really was my grandmother. Her passing last year really hit me hard.

The immense manor has sat vacant since her death. There are twenty four rooms in this three story dwelling. The master bath is bigger than any living room I’ve ever seen. Who needs a bath that huge? I don’t even take my bath half the time. It’s amazing how a little scented hand sanitizer behind the ears and under your arm pits, a rinse of water on your scalp, and one good wash rag around the eyes and cheeks… the ones on your face… can ensure a successful pass on mom’s bedtime inspection.

In a few weeks, I’ll have some new neighbors. Hopefully, whoever moves in will know how to bake cookies!